Insanitarium Review

Insanitarium Review

Reviewed by Nyquill of The Gutter

 

I believed at a time I was crazy.  I think when you watch so many horror movies you start to question your sanity. Like why am I attracted to some of these movies when I know they are horrible. I may never have an answer for that but that is the mmind set I was into when I saw the movie Insanitarium.

            Lets discuss plot shall we. You sister has been deemed insane and is in a sanitarium that has some questionable tactics. So you cut yourself and pretend to be crazy to get her out? Good idea right, probably night but that’s what happens to the main character in this film. Now I know in movies the insane asylum is one of the weirdest places to be but I have visited a few in my time and they are never as scary as they are in movies. The one in this film looks like the place they kept the demons in Buffy the vampire Slayer! Anyway so in this asylum it seems as if they patients are ending up worse off than they were when they came in. For some reason their eyes are changing colors and they look like prop dummies from 28 weeks later. The main character finally finds his sister and notices that even the staff has bad intentions with the patients and everything is being run under one lead man. This man is of course the one changing them. So our character (John) is building relationships with some of the patients and also an employee. If he does not take the medication he seems to stay level headed, and there is this crazy shock therapy room the he discovers and finds out his sister is next on the list.

            The movie takes a dramatic turns as it seems as if the medication is causing the patients to have a rage virus like reaction and of course if any blood passes from them or the staff will turn also. It seemed as if they writers were fans of the rage virus because the movie completely turns into a 28 days later scenario. Not that the movie is but it start to get sour at this point because it’s hard to believe that all this stuff would be going on unnoticed. Oh well you know movies. John eventually makes it out with his sister but unfortunate for the public they release all the other crazies too. I wonder what happened to the town. I guess we will never know, not that we care really even. Wait for it on Starz in demand.

5/10

The Cottage Review

The Cottage

Reviewed by Nyquill of The Gutter

 

It seems as if the best way to not have any sympathy for victims in horror movies is to make them dirty slime ball crooks.  The UK does not differ much from the folks on this side of the Atlantic. We all seem to enjoy a good chase flick with a little gore and comedy. That’s where The Cottage delivers hands down.

            The movie involves 2 brothers who have kidnapped the daughter of a strip club who is involved in shady deals himself. The step brother is also involved and they plan on getting enough money to pay off a debt to save their family’s home. So the movie starts with the kidnapping going a little unexpected because the daughter is no victim. She almost escapes because one of the brothers is such a pussy that he almost gets beaten to death by her forehead. I guess that what he gets for looking at her tits. When the step brother shows up everything turns to turmoil because it’s obvious the owner of the club is on to them and he has sent some killers to take out our villains or should I say heroes. The fun starts with these 2 sick sadist Korean guys who already have someone with them with a reservation to knife land, but it seems as if someone is watching them.

            Have you seen hatchet yet? Did you know Victor Crowley has a cousin? Just kidding but there is some disfigured crazy guy running around with an axe and he doesn’t like strangers in his neck of the woods. Supposedly he was a farmer that got mutilated by some machinery and he tried to hide from the world but people just kept stopping by. So he cut their heads off and uses their faces for masks. Yeah I know it’s been done before but not too much on the UK side. So the Koreans are wiped away and all that is left is our buxom blonde and kidnappers. Let’s just say they really aren’t a match for our madman when they stab him with pick axes and he still does not die. Also getting your head chopped off running into bear traps isn’t that great either. Scene after scene of comedy gore made this movie and unexpected treat and there is a little surprise at the ending that completely sold me on the film. Let’s just say I’m interested to see if they make a sequel to this movie. I for sure will see you. You should see the first though. Go rent it.

7/10